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Getting Out From Under My Rock

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Getting Out From Under My Rock

It appears as if my last blog was written only yesterday. Time seems both as if it’s been longer than it is and as if it just flew by.

Every day now from awake to sleep my head on both sides from the temples to the back are filled with pressure and pain. Due to these regions connected to the jaw especially when biting it causes pain and pressure so persistent that I can’t really think much. However, it could be an upper respiratory problem or being allergic to something.

Although, no real reason yet for these symptoms. If pain and inflammation tell us our body is working to fix a problem. Keeping a positive attitude and appreciating my health, I am so thankful for my healing.

This time what needs to be said will be much deeper than most surface ideas presented. Some of the issues worth mentioning are what most of you already know.

My desire for wanting a relationship with another woman derives from years of sexual neglection, sabotage, and just simply one or both of us holding an accumulation of resentful repressed hateful grudges from hanging out over more than a quarter of a century in a one-sided monogamist relationship. And yes, she had all the signs of a cheating partner unless it was all to blow my mind because all that’s missing is physical evidence.

Doctors such as psychiatrist and psychologist who conducted many diagnoses of my mental state over many years mention the emotions of jealousy I overcame during Fall 2017, allows

In addition, our three kids are grown needing less attention from me. Although, work from home I barely ever see them. But, that allows me to practice more gaining wisdom such as, I of all people knows darn well that our entire outward life is simply the reflections of our inner life.

Take a metaphor from the Soka Gakkai International while not confusing it with the Astrological ones. “A person’s shadow reflected on to surface and because its two but not two, being one and the same, will adjust, change, and alters itself as the physical body moves”. Therefore, as such, making changes, elevating one’s consciousness, learning, and growing within ourselves brings changes to one’s daily life.

Going further - down deeper, society teaches how to handle stress is by taking control of how we react and respond to them. This practical process may prove we do not need to remain in a relationship due to karma. Although, I don’t believe my wife or family wants me leaving in any way. However, one of the belief I have adopted in my life over the years is that we all have a purpose with those we meet. In addition, there comes a point during one’s purpose either for oneself or another person for some sort of love of the growth; change in relationship takes place.

My wife and I love each other and our family very much, but with how life progressed this past decade developed mounds of buried stuff and decided to be with other people as well. Yup! We decided to eat our cake and ice cream too.

Let me make my point as simple as possible. Once again, remember everything we think, say, and do. We are doing it to ourselves. Therefore, how we react and respond let’s say towards our spouses; could just be a vicious cycle of negative emotional events Shifting your thought to more loving and positive kind creates positive loving events. 

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